Yesterday was one of the most beautiful days I've experienced in a long time - simply because it was wrapped in tremendous peace.
For many months - too many to count - satan has attacked me with anxiety. Anxiety about any and everything. That's been his tool of choice, and I hate it! I've been engaged in an ongoing battle for my peace and joy as I seek to claim those gifts, which Christ has given me as His child. The enemy is just messing with me. Messing with me because he knows...God is on the move in my life!
About 6 months ago I began sensing that God was calling me to make some changes. Over time He has slowly revealed those changes to me. (I think it's been slow because He is graciously giving me time to adjust to the idea of letting go of things that I am deeply involved with.) In the beginning, I was skeptical at best. But now...well, now I am very comfortable with the idea. Like an old comfy robe - releasing those things to God feels good. It feels right. I feel enveloped by His perfect peace as I take the next step into a big unknown - a world uncluttered by the projects and commitments that have stolen my time for many years. I feel more free than I have felt in a very long time. I like this new place.
This new place isn't just a place where I have let go of things. It's a place where God is replacing a super busy calendar with times of rest, times of intentional living and an assignment directly from Him. (As God would have it, He also told me to keep this assignment between us for the time being. So God and I - we have a little secret. Heehee)
But here's the point of this whole post. Yesterday was the culmination of God calling me to this new assignment. I finally felt total peace. God had spoken so clearly to me through His Word and through our morning church service. Tremendous peace finally consumed me, and I knew I was exactly where I wanted to be - right in the middle of God's will for me. Then I woke up this morning.
We went to Emma's school this morning to meet her 3rd grade teacher and see her new classroom. It was exciting to see old friends - for both of us - and we enjoyed catching up with friends we hadn't seen all summer. As we pulled out of the parking lot, I realized that tremendous peace (which I had walked into the building with) had now left me. I was anxious. Why? Because the enemy was trying to detour me from the assignment God had given me. He was taunting me with thoughts like, "All the other moms...See what you'll be missing...You won't have any friends...Just this once..."
I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit who stepped in and reminded me of the verses God had shown me this very morning. "The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant will also be. My father will honor the one who serves me." (John 12:25-26)
At that moment I realized that taking on my new assignment will not be an easy one. There will be opposition - from satan and from people - but God is my strength. My call is secure. He will see me through. He restored my peace and reminded me that every battle must be fought with the full armor of God and the sword of the Spirit. Thank you, Lord, for the gifts you give us! We are not alone. And we are not without the things we need to live a victorious life.