I've become undone. Nothing is as it used to be. At least for now. I'm undone, but I am secure.
When I began my journey through Lent, I expected several things but I never expected the spiritual attack that Satan would wage against me. It all started three weeks ago through a physical affliction that hit me with such force that all activity came to a screeching halt.
It's then that Satan took the opportunity to discourage me and tempt me to abandon prayer and praise to my God. Little did I know that God had some big lessons in store for me. It was during this three weeks, when the circumstances of my life had me in the valley, that my awareness of God took me to the mountain top.
Over and over again through this journey of Lent I have had to confess a proud heart. A heart that tries to take credit for things only God can do. A heart that wants the glory for His mighty work. A heart that is prone to wander, yet applauds its own return as if it were of my own doing.
Lord Jesus, you looked at me in the crowd - yes, I was there - taunting you. You knew how I would choose. You knew I would choose evil. But in that moment...you chose death on a cross. You chose death so I could be with You forever. What lavish love! I am undone by You.
I don't want to be as I was before. I want to be undone every day as I sink into the realization of how He loves me. I want to sink in His grace. I want to swim in His mercy.
What blessedness - to be undone.